Blessing For A Marriage
James Dillet Freeman
May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage
should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance, and understanding.
May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness
as to help you to know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete;
the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is
more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be
with you and you.
May you need one another, but not out of weakness.
May you want one another, but not out of lack.
May you entice one another, but not compel one another.
May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another.
May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not
fail in the little graces.
May you look for things to praise, often say, "I love you!" and
take no notice of small faults.
If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you hope to
have good sense enough to take the first step back.
May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another's
presence - no more physical than spiritual, warm and near when you are
side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even
distant cities.
May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy.
May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!
Apache Blessing
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your
dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your
days be good and long upon the earth.
Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of
what brought you together. Give the highest priority to the tenderness,
gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves. When frustration,
difficulty and fear assail your relationship - as they threaten all relationships
at one time or another - remember to focus on what is right between you, not only
the part which seems wrong. In this way, you can ride out the storms when clouds
hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight
of it for a moment, the sun is still there. And if each of you takes responsibility
for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and delight.
Loving Somewhere
Source Not Known
Somewhere between friends
came conversations touching
new ways of seeing each other
Somewhere beyond admiration
eyes met and looks lingered
And the moment shimmered with magic;
Somewhere between laughing and liking
barriers fell away and two souls met
revealing secrets and dreams
Somewhere beneath
the sharing and the smiles
the warmth and the words
there emerged love.
The Art of a Good Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson
The little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say "I love you" at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is never taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or
sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude
in thoughtful ways.
It is not expecting the husband to wear a halo or the wife to have
wings of an angel.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense
of humor.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner,
it is being the right partner.
A Reading on Marriage
from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran:
When you find someone you can love and who can love you, then love
one another. And, as you love one another, remember this:
Make your love a joyous, freedom-loving adventure. Let your
love be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Sing, dance, and be joyous together, and yet, let each of you have moments
alone. Let there be spaces in your togetherness so that the winds
of the heavens dance between you.
Remember, the strings of the lute are together, yet alone as they
quiver with the same music. As the pillars of the temple stand
apart, they serve a common goal. Fill each other�s cup, and
yet, allow each to drink at their own choosing. Give one another
of you bread, while allowing each to season it to their own taste.
Give your hearts to each other, while providing space for each other's
heart to be free, for there is much in life to be loved.
Let your lover's heart be free to answer the call of life.
Stand together, yet not too near each other, for in the garden of
life, the oak tree & the cypress each have air to breathe and
a little earth to call their own, where the sun can reach down &
touch them bringing forth the hidden beauty that lies within each one.
Yes, be together, and be yourself. Be free, and always be together.
Additional Words on Marriage
From The Prophet On Love
by Kahlil Gibran
Love has no desire other than to fulfill itself.
But if your love must have desires, let these be yours:
To melt and be like a running brook
that sings its melody into the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And still give from that wound, willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon�s hour and meditate on love�s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart
and a song of praise upon your lips.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
I Promise Myself
(Source unknown)
I promise myself to be so strong
that my peace of mind is infinite in depth, and
ever-present;
To speak only of health, happiness and prosperity
to every person I meet;
And to make all of my friends aware
of those special qualities within them.
I promise myself to look at the sunny side
of everything, everyone, and every situation I encounter;
To look at life with optimism and with positive emotions;
thereby eliciting the infinite power of entire universe
in making my dreams come true.
I promise myself to think about, take action toward
and expect only the best for myself and for everyone else;
And, to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others,
as I am about my own success.
I promise to forget past mistakes;
Both my own and of those around me.
As an ever unfolding flower,
I promise myself to press on toward a greater future;
To be sincere, to be genuine;
To wear a cheerful countenance, at all times;
And to smile from my heart with warmth and love.
Promise myself to give so much thought and feeling
to the improvement of my own nature
that you have no time or interest in criticizing others.
To be too wise to worry, too allowing to anger
and too centered in my Divine nature to fear anything outside of
myself.
Promise to seek and share joy as my first priority,
to invite personal growth through the new and unexpected
to be free, to encourage others to be free
and above all, to be happy.
The Most Wonderful Of All Things In Life
Sir Hugh Walpole
The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another
human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and
joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two
human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking
for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident,
and the most wonderful of all things in life.
I Love You
Roy Croft
I love you, not only for what you are,
But, for what I am when I am with you.
I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself,
but for what you are making of me.
I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
I love you for looking deeply into my heaped-up heart
and gently passing over all the foolish, and weak things
that you can't help dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out into the light
all the beautiful belongings
that no one else had looked quite far enough to find.
I love you because you are helping me
to make, of the lumber of my life, not a tavern,
but a temple;
Out of the works of my every day, not a reproach, but
a song.
I love you because you have done more
than any creed could have done to make me good,
and more than any fate could have done to make me happy.
You have done it through your touch, through your looks
through your words, and through your very being.
You have done it simply by being yourself.
Perhaps, after all, that is what being a friend really
means.
From Plato's Symposium
Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.
To understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. There were three sexes then: one comprised of two men called the children of the Sun, one made of two women called the children of the Earth, and a third made of a man and a woman, called the children of the Moon. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans’ insolence without destroying them.
It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. After the division the two parts of each desiring their other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of humankind.
Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. Those whose original nature lies with the children of the Sun are men who are drawn to other men, those from the children of the Earth are women who love other women, and those from the children of the Moon are men and women drawn to one another. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the others sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.
A Gift From the Sea
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
One recognizes the truth of Saint Exupery's line:
Love does not consist in gazing at each other. But in looking outward
together in the same direction.
For in fact, man and woman are not only looking outward in the same direction,
they are working outward.
Here one forms ties, roots, a firm base....Here
one makes oneself part of the community of men, of human society. Here
the bonds of marriage are formed.
For marriage, which is always spoken
of as a bond, becomes actually, in this stage, many bonds, many strands,
of different texture and strength, making up a web that is taut and firm.
The web is fashioned of love.
Yes, but many kinds of love: romantic love
first, then a slow-growing devotion and, playing through these, a constantly
rippling companionship.
It is made of loyalties, and interdependencies,
and shared experiences.
It is woven of memories of meetings and conflicts;
of triumphs and disappointments.
It is a web of communication, a common
language, and the acceptance of lack of language too, a knowledge of likes
and dislikes, of habits and reactions, both physical and mental.
It is
a web of instincts and intuitions, and known and unknown exchanges.
The
web of marriage is made by propinquity, in the day to day living side by
side, looking outward and working outward in the same direction.
It is
woven in space and in time of the substance of life itself.
The Prayer
St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226)
Lord, make us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen
Words on Feeling Safe
By George Elliot
Oh the comfort of feeling safe
with a person;
having neither to weigh thoughts,
nor measure words,
but to pour them all out
just as chaff and grain together,
knowing that a faithful hand
will take and sift them,
keeping what is worth keeping
and with a breath of kindness,
blow the rest away.
The Passionate Shepherd to His Love
Christopher Marlowe
Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.
And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle;
A gown made of the finest wool
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold;
A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.
The shepherds' swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love
Sonnet XLIII, From "The Portuguese"
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday�s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood�s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints! I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! And, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Fidelity
D.H. Lawrence
Man and woman are like the earth, that brings forth flowers
in summer, and love, but underneath is rock.
Older than flowers, older than ferns, older than foraminiferae,
older than plasm altogether is the soul underneath.
And when, throughout all the wild chaos of love
slowly a gem forms, in the ancient, once-more-molten rocks
of two human hearts, two ancient rocks,
a man's heart and a woman's,
that is the crystal of peace, the slow hard jewel of trust,
the sapphire of fidelity.
The gem of mutual peace emerging from the wild chaos of love.
The Giver of Stars
Amy Lowell
Hold your soul open for my welcoming.
Let the quiet of your spirit bathe me
With its clear and rippled coolness,
That, loose-limbed and weary, I find rest,
Outstretched upon your peace, as on a bed of ivory.
Let the flickering flame of your soul play all about me,
That into my limbs may come the keenness of fire,
The life and joy of tongues of flame,
And, going out from you, tightly strung and in tune,
I may rouse the blear-eyed world,
And pour into it the beauty which you have begotten.
Love
Pablo Neruda
Of everything I have seen,
it's you I want to go on seeing;
of everything I've touched,
it's your flesh I want to go on touching.
I love your orange laughter.
I am moved by the sight of you sleeping.
What am I to do, love, loved one?
I don't know how others love,
or how people loved in the past.
I live, watching you, loving you.
Being in love is my nature.
You please me more each afternoon.
The Good-Morrow
John Donne
I wonder by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved ? were we not weaned till then ?
But sucked on country pleasures, childishly ?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den ?
'Twas so ; but this, all pleasures fancies be;
If ever any beauty I did see,
Which I desired, and got, 'twas but a dream of thee.
And now good-morrow to our waking souls,
Which watch not one another out of fear;
For love all love of other sights controls,
And makes one little room an everywhere.
Let sea-discoverers to new worlds have gone;
Let maps to other, worlds on worlds have shown;
Let us possess one world ; each hath one, and is one.
My face in thine eye, thine in mine appears,
And true plain hearts do in the faces rest;
Where can we find two better hemispheres
Without sharp north, without declining west ?
Whatever dies, was not mixed equally;
If our two loves be one, or thou and I
Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die
The Road Not Taken
Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
and that has made all the difference.
In a Simple Way, I Love You
Gretchen Cryer & Nancy Ford
In a simple way I love you.
That�s something I can do.
I�ll make music while you sing your song.
When I can, I�ll join in and sing along.
I�m filled with love, I care for you
And I understand what you are going through.
In a simple way I love you,
That�s so easy for me to do.
When you reach out to take my hand.
I�ll be there and beside you stand
Because you�ve made a friend of me.
I�ll help you become whomever you shall choose to be.
I hear your voice as it sings out.
Speak your piece and let it go
I�ll give you room to breathe, and space to grow.
In a simple way I love you.
I�m here to see you through.
I�ll make music while you sing your song.
While you do whatever you choose to do.
I�ll stand beside you rain or shine.
Love has many faces, and one of them is mine.
A Red, Red Rose
Robert Burns
O my luve�s like a red, red rose,
That�s newly sprung in June;
O my luve�s like the melodie
That�s sweetly play�d in tune.
As fair thou art, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will love thee still, my Dear
Till a� the seas gang dry.
Till a� the seas gang dry, my Dear,
And the rocks melt wi� the sun;
I will love thee still, my Dear
While the sands o� life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only Luve!
And fare thee weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho� it were ten thousand mile!
Believe Me, If All Those Endearing Young Charms
Thomas Moore
Believe me, if all those endearing young charms,
Which I gaze on so fondly to-day,
Were to change by to-morrow, and fleet in my arms,
Live fairy-gifts fading away,
Thou wouldst still be adored, as this moment thou art,
Let thy loveliness fade as it will,
And around the dear ruin each wish of my heart
Would entwine itself verdantly still.
It is not while beauty and youth are thine own,
And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear,
That the fervor and faith of a soul may be known,
To which time will but make thee more dear!
No, the heart that has truly loved never forgets,
But as truly loves on to the close,
As the sunflower turns on her god when he sets
The same look which she turned when he rose!
Love's Philosophy
Percy Shelley
The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle:-
Why not I with thine?
See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
Now sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:-
What are all these kissing's worth,
If thou kiss not me?
Desiderata
Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there
may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms
with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for
there will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your
achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real
possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business
affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you
to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere
life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical
about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as
perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the
things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue
& loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no
doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Why Marriage?
Mari Nichols-Haining
Because to the depths of me, I long to love one person,
With all my heart, my soul, my mind, my body...
Because I need a forever friend to trust with the intimacies of me,
Who won't hold them against me,
Who loves me when I'm unlikable,
Who sees the small child in me, and
Who looks for the divine potential of me...
Because I need to cuddle in the warmth of the night
With someone who thanks God for me,
With someone I feel blessed to hold...
Because marriage means opportunity
To grow in love in friendship...
Because marriage is a discipline
To be added to a list of achievements...
Because marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage
Expecting another to make them whole...
Because, knowing this,
I promise myself to take full responsibility
For my spiritual, mental and physical wholeness
I create me,
I take half of the responsibility for my marriage
Together we create our marriage...
Because with this understanding
The possibilities are limitless.
To Be One With Each Other
George Eliot
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that
they are joined together to strengthen each other in all labour, to minister
to each other in all sorrow, to share with each other in all gladness,
to be one with each other in the silent unspoken memories?
On Love
Thomas à Kempis (1379-1471)
Love is a mighty power, a great and complete good.
Love alone lightens every burden, and makes rough places smooth.
It bears every hardship as though it were nothing, and renders all
bitterness sweet and acceptable.
Nothing is sweeter than love,
Nothing stronger,
Nothing higher,
Nothing wider,
Nothing more pleasant,
Nothing fuller or better in heaven or earth; for love is born of
God.
Love flies, runs and leaps for joy.
It is free and unrestrained.
Love knows no limits, but ardently transcends all bounds.
Love feels no burden, takes no account of toil,
attempts things beyond its strength.
Love sees nothing as impossible,
for it feels able to achieve all things.
It is strange and effective,
while those who lack love faint and fail.
Love is not fickle and sentimental,
nor is it intent on vanities.
Like a living flame and a burning torch,
it surges upward and surely surmounts every obstacle.
Sonnet XVIII
William Shakespeare
Shall I compare thee to a summer�s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer�s lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm�d;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature�s changing course untrimm�d;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow�st
Nor shall death brag thou wander�st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow�st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
Sonnet 116
William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
admit impediments. Love is not love
which alters when it alteration finds,
or bends with the remover to remove:
Oh, no! It is an ever-fixed mark.
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
it is the star to every wandering bark,
whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
within his bending sickle's compass come;
love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
but bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
